The death of ‘hello’: how gen Z – and scammers – put paid to the greeting

Name: Hello.

Age: 200 years old.

Status: Under threat of extinction.

That’s ridiculous – we’ve been saying hello to each other for millions of years. Well, that isn’t true. As I just mentioned, the word appeared in print a couple of hundred years ago. But it’s a deviation of “holla”, “hollo”, “halloo” or “hillo”, all of which were used in English as attention-grabbing noises since at least the 16th century.

But we use it all the time now. Only because of the telephone. After the phone’s invention by Alexander Graham Bell in 1876, Thomas Edison decided that a new standardised greeting needed to be invented.

Why? Because previously people tended to greet each other with time-based salutations, such as “good morning” or “good evening”. But the telephone could instantly cross time zones, which made these redundant.

But why hello? Because Edison preferred it to Bell’s favoured “Ahoy-hoy”.

Shame. I know. Anyway, forget all that, because nobody says hello any more.

But I like hello. Too late. Technology has marched on again: everyone has a smartphone with caller ID now. Why go through the charade of a “hello?” when you already know who’s calling you?

I don’t know, basic politeness? Tell that to gen Z. The New York Times has reported on the death of hello, stating that young people now prefer to answer the phone with “Hi”, “What’s up?” or “Yeah?”.

This sounds spurious. It isn’t. A survey last year revealed that 40% of 18-24 year-olds feel that it is acceptable to answer the phone without any form of greeting whatsoever.

Isn’t that a bit weird? It sort of makes sense, though. Conversations have become free-form things spread across multiple formats. If you’ve just been texting, or DMing, or emailing with someone, a phone call is just a continuation and arguably doesn’t require anything as formal as a hello.

Still, it’s nice. Only if you love AI scammers.

What the hell? Where did that come from? You didn’t hear about this? Apparently scammers can now replicate your voice with AI, cloning it from your telephone greeting, and use it to beg your loved ones for money. This is a real thing that has been covered by the consumer watchdog Which?, the BBC and the Guardian.

This is genuinely nightmarish. Guess what the best way to beat it is.

I’ll guess rudeness. Correct! If you’re called by an unidentified number, the advice is to remain silent until you are sure that a friendly human being is on the other end of the line. Not saying hello first could save you a whole heap of trouble.

Well, it looks like this is goodbye to hello. Don’t say goodbye. Say au revoir.

Because it’s romantic? No, because the terrifying hordes of robot scammers might clone you into a French person, and your family would be confused.

Do say: “Hello is becoming obsolete.”

Don’t say: “Ahoy-hoy!”

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